oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
