She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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