Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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