i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
