i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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