i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
