OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize