I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
