wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
