How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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