I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
