i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
