If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
