Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
