it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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