yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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