we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
