Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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