fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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