i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
