i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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