Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize