PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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