I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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