Don't you send me to vm
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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