break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
