Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
