Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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