no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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