How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
