I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
