I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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