I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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