On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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