She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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