I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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