singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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