yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
