I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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