there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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