They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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