I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
