Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
two words...techno handjob
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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