Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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