I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
