That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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