I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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