I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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