Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
