we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
