well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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