I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
