Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
