Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
