New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
