if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
