Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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