Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
