Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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