He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
