I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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