Life is so much better after having sex.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
