You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize